Chapter 6 - Ledger

Chapter 6 - Ledger

The bridges burst and twist around

And wanting something warm and moving

Bends towards herself the soothing

Proves that she must still exist

She moves herself about her fist

Sweet communist

The communist daughter

Standing on the sea-weed water

Semen stains the mountain tops– Neutral Milk Hotel, The Communists Daughter

The years marched on by, crawling and leaping in the unpredictable way years can after the fact. The three boys, separated by race and age were brought together, closer than most others were by their shared secret, sharing joy and sharing fear, sharing lives. 

The resentment El felt towards Art, that at first threatened to drive the boys apart had melted quickly away, helped greatly by Art’s reliance on El as a mentor in the art of growing dim. Saj did not have the patience in his heart to be an effective teacher, even with his greatest friends, and the three boys experimented and tested the limits of their fantastic ability.

Art, a straight forward and practical teenager was the first to think to make a record of what they discovered. The record was to be about their shared or individual abilities in an old ledger that he kept hidden away in a draw in his room. A boy who concocted plans for various contingencies, Art had realised he could explain away the notes he made as fanciful daydreaming, or part of some coursework. Still, Art desired to avoid any unnecessary confrontation about this with his family or anyone else. He was not a coward, as shown in his sudden rage at the cruel treatment he had seen Thomas Prince inflicting upon Saj, then a stranger, but Art was unwilling to draw the same attention onto himself for things that could be avoided. 

Cruelty was simply something he could not ignore.

The diary had been well used when Art had bought it from the charity shop, and it soon devalued into dog-eared. The worn red cover showing a date 5 years previous was as nondescript as could be, nothing about the diary drew the eye and this is why Art had chosen it.

The years that followed had left their mark on the pages as Art, El and Saj grew, struggling through puberty, finding their true selves and their nascent gifts. The physical changes in the male adolescent form can vary, and the changes in these boys were marked ones. 

Saj was no longer short and fat, his metabolism had sped up and the natural strength apparent in his father and older brother had finally developed and shown on his form. His stomach retracted and his shoulder grew, the short young boy became a powerfully built and stocky young man.

Art’s dirty blonde hair had darkened slightly, and his large frame had seemed to stretch rather than grow. Slender, just wiry, his stride was the longest of his friends as they covered the familiar paths of youth, gifting or cursing him with a restless and energetic personality that often saw him pacing like a caged animal when he was supposed to be at rest. This was a man who would never be happy to be still. Still a gentle soul at heart, his  strength and speed had given him a grace and poise that was alien to someone his size. 

The changes in El had been the least noticeable of the three. He was still as slight and petite as a teenager as he’d been as a child, his hair was his one statement to the outside, his vanity. It flowed down his back, well maintained and sturdy, whilst mocked by many of the boys it was the envy of many of the girls in the school including Raveena, Saj's sister.

One of the things that concerns parents is that the personality of many teenagers change dramatically whilst going through puberty. One night a sweet and polite son or daughter may wish their parents a good night and the following morning a hormonal and furious monster will storm down the stairs. Whilst it would be fruitless to claim that the three boys were paragons of perfection and politeness for their parents, the arguments and tantrums and tempers were not perhaps as vitriolic as could have been. 

The three boys had retained the wonder and innocence they had been blessed with as children, which grew when they’d first discovered their abilities which they now just referred to as dimming. 

One thing that had changed was the desire for retribution and justice, fostered by the testosterone flooding through their veins. A new streak of mischief had run through each of the three at certain points as it will with any teenager when frustrated. 

Sometimes, not often, teachers had noticed things going missing, members of the ever present Squad were known to found their bags unaccountably missing or thrown into trees, but this was the extent of the jokes the three boys played. Early on in their dimming careers, the boys had agreed that they shouldn’t go dim to hurt or attack or take advantage of anyone, a declaration of intent the three had agreed on. For Saj, the memory of the ease of his control over Katharine brought him deep shame every time he thought of it even though he now understood more about scope that persuasion offered over people. 

This formed the basis of some of the diary entries that Art would make. His practical nature wanting to categorise and record as much as possible about the limitations and scope of his power. For that is what he began to see it as.

Dimming - Notes by Art and Saj + El

1.         People hear us when we’re dim. They just don’t realise on the serface surface level. They hear what we say and we can make them do somethings. EG. If I told someone to trip when they were walking they would. But we can only make people do stuff they might want to do or accidentally do anyway. So we couldn’t tell someone to keep tripping, they’d be concentrating on not tripping. Or if we asked someone to push someone in front of a bus they probably wouldn’t do it. Unless they really wanted to. But it'd still be my fault right?

2.         People see us when we’re dim but it’s like they don’t realise what they’re seeing. If we’re walking along dim people will go around us without looking. Saj tried it once with a blind kid in his year and he walked round him too which means it’s not just that people aren’t seeing us. He didn’t even touch us with his stick. NOTE TO SELF - Do automatic doors notice us?  Must try. Careful not to break nose on glass if not. 

3.         Animals don’t react to us when we’re dim, but we all noticed animals like us when we’re not dim. El thinks this is because we all like animals and they can tell.

4.         We’re not dim to everybody, we can see each other and some other people can see us and we don’t know why or who. Should make a list, can everyone who sees us go dim too? Not many of us, but enough that we can't be only ones

It was interesting, over the course of the last few years  the three boys, Art, Saj & El had spent their spare time experimenting with and pushing their dimming to the potential limits that they could experience. Saj was the first to realise, after a few close escapes that Thomas Prince seemed to be able to see the three at all times, he even had an uncanny ability to focus the members of the Squad onto Saj even if he was dimming. Saj was never not on high alert when he knew Prince was in the school.

They were surprised to learn that it wasn’t just Thomas Prince who could see them when they were dim though, the whole Thapa family could always see the boys. El’s family couldn’t, neither could Arts, so the trio knew the ability was not a genetic one.

Outside of school and family, there were isolated incidents of others who could see the teens when dimming.  The trio had agreed to always be on the look out for others who had the ability to see them at all times, to see if there was a common theme or similarity between them all. Perhaps they all had a birth mark in the same place? Maybe the they were all born in a certain month or under certain circumstances. Regardless, the three boys could find some common theme between any of the few who could see them. 

There was an old scouting friend of Art, who could always see the boys but  seemingly unable to go dim himself. Eddie Archer did not see this as an issue . Eddie loved being the centre of attention in his own friend group, or even in a group of strangers. Through some uncanny quirk of nature the four boys often found themselves hanging round outside of school together.

A natural born entertainer, Eddie won over the stoic Art, the shy Saj and the reclusive El almost immediately with his quick fire wit and his magnetic personality. Where there had before been comfortable silences with the three friends, with Eddie there was always laughter, a joke and sense of barely contained chaotic creation.  

Eddie Archer was the only child of Steven and Laura Archer, the same age as Art and knew him from a local Scout pack the two boys went to. Eddie was the leader of the one of the Scout pack sets and never had any problem commanding his troop. All the Scouts were drawn in close to him, unable to walk away or ignore his commands, yet the power never seemed to go to his head. A fair and affable boy that was always called "Dude" or "bro" he was a welcome addition to the three boys, his chattiness never drowning out the other three boys.

He was a vivacious reader, and had involved himself in many after school social groups that most would have considered uncool, though Eddie spoke of them with a passion that infected anyone he spoke of them to. Maths, poetry, debate team and the chess club, he was not the most proficient at any of these yet he was always willing to give his best shot, making any event more fun than it would have been without him. Eddie particularly enjoyed his weekend sessions of Warhammer, where he painted his figures with a style and flair, imbuing each figure with a rich and hilarious backstory. 

In most respects an average looking boy, other than his vibrant red hair and thick bottle bottom glasses, Eddie had cultivated an eccentric style of dress, mixing the fashions of the two tone punks and the nerd culture he was heavily involved in, which would not of looked out of place with the hipsters of Shoreditch only a few years later.

Eddie took to any new task or skill with gusto and aplomb, music or sports, DIY or dancing. The only thing that seemed beyond his reach was the dimming, but as Saj often said, "Eddie, I'm not surprised you can't go dim, you're too busy shining". 

People were fascinated with Eddie, especially the three boys who over time became the closest friends he would ever have.

All three boys were enamoured with this new arrival into the group, especially Saj. His parents, Talwar and Garima Thapa were very happy that their son had seemingly started making friends at the school, and relieved that the three new friends seemed such grounded and responsible boys. Even if Eddie would never stop talking or cracking jokes. Even if they loved how their son, who until then had been so quiet and reserved now laughed like a bubbling spring, thought Eddie was like salt on eggs. A little could go a long way.

The four boys coming together had done wonders for each of them. Saj no longer suffered from the crippling social anxiety he once had, and whilst he may never grow to be a public speaker he was now able to relax in the company of others, even away from his friends. For Art, still a stoic and gentle creature, his time learning with and from El & Saj blossomed a poetry in his soul. His expressive and quietly romantic nature was encouraged, and he felt deeply about his friends and family. 

For El, the internal strife that had held him back for the majority of his life had waned whilst with the other boys. After much self reflection, the young man had finally come to terms with what the issue was and who the real El Easton was. He was still slightly uncomfortable talking to the other three, not knowing how to begin talking about a confusion that had been a feature of his entire life. He felt they would understand, if he could put it in the right words for them.

In the few years following Eddie joining the group, Raveena Thapa had grown from a pretty and bubbly young girl into a stunningly beautiful young woman. 

Full of enthusiasm for life, her career at school had kept her apart from her twin brother, but when she’d seen her brother forming such strong friendships with El and Art she had begun to worry less and less about him. She had thrown herself into her education and had been the pride of the family when results day came around. Saj did not begrudge her this, and was especially proud of the command his sister had taken of her life, whereas he had been focusing elsewhere to the mild detriment of his results.

Focused on becoming a nature specialist so she could travel the world to study exotic animals, Raveena had kept a wide and diverse social network as she grew. She wasn’t as close with any of her friends as Saj was with his, but she was never a lonely girl. Like her mother, there seemed to be some undefinable nurturing and wholly internal warmth to Raveena which shone out of her to bring joy to all around her. 

During her sixth form years Raveena started to notice amongst her friends a general drifting from the things that she enjoyed most of all; sports and social study, to nights out and dating. Raveena hadn’t concerned herself much with dating, her father was not a particularly strict man when it came to things like this, but Raveena was reluctant to get pulled into what she saw as an emotional whirlpool, something she thought of as unnecessary and unwanted.

Many boys wanted Raveena, she was aware of this. She knew that she was pretty. She’d been told many times in her life that she was pretty, but she’d never been a vain girl, so she had not obsessed on her own looks. She wore only a little make-up and clothes seemed to be designed to fit her, flattering what she wanted to show off and hiding what she did not.

Now, at the start of her adulthood she was radiant and beautiful. An athletic girl, she was possessed of the grace of a dancer, with silky black hair and warm hazel eyes that sparkled when she smiled. Gifted as she was academically, where Raveena truly shone was in her ability to make those around her happy. Raveena was drawn to those who were suffering or unhappy, she was free with her time and wasn’t concerned with the cliques that so often regulated the social structures of the young. 

She was particularly drawn towards Saj’s friends, and enjoyed the occasional and unfortunately infrequent time she spent in the company of the four boys. El surprised her with a depth of knowledge on fashions and an eye for style, when they were together they discussed trends and colours. Art’s growing skill with poetry enchanted her, she encouraged his forays into haiku and short stories, and together they discovered new authors and poets, consuming vast quantities of books between them. Eddie was infatuated with her at first, his usual confident manner stumbled when she was around and she left the boy tongue tied, but she enjoyed many of the same games and shows as he did, with the infatuation giving way to fondness and a platonic feeling of love over time. 

Raveena became an unofficial member of the four, not a mascot, her input was a calming and nourishing one, though she would spend time with many others as was her way. Though the four boys never talked of their dimming, Raveena was well thought of by all around her, and she had time for almost everyone she met.

Everyone other than the Squad, and Thomas Prince.